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Joke of the Day
"Why is NATO afraid of Russia? Cause Russia's been Putin them on notice. Just thought of this."
Next Joke
"hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it"
"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer! I don't know what he laced them with, *but I have been tripping all day*."
"Probably the worst thing about dying a virgin would be all the dead terrorists that are waiting for you."
"How do you circumcise a Texan? Kick his sister in the jaw."
"Have the day off when the SO comes home, ""Have you been on reddit all day!?"" Look at the clock, ""Not yet."""
"[girlfriend finally texts back] ME: i'm so mad at you. HER: i'm naked come over. ME: i'm not really mad i was jk lol omw babe"
"Knock Knock Who is there? Aula. Aula who? ALLAH HUAKBAR!!!!!"
"I'm not going to make my daughter choose a religion, I'll explain the differences & when the time comes she can choose either Marvel or DC."
"How do you know if your friend has an iPhone? They tell you."