154350

Joke of the Day

"my brother turned 30 this weekend and i'll never forget what mom said when dad told her we're growing up too fast ""they're eating dog food"""

"Just bought a Ken doll. I don't know what everyone's talking about, you can't read books on this thing."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Peanut butter jelly Peanut butter jelly who? Peanut butter jelly you!"

"Accidentally fell asleep smoking an e-cigarette and when I woke up my whole house was on the internet."

"I'm exhausted. I just did 100 sit ups. The fact that I did them over the course of 40 years doesn't diminish the accomplishment."

"Why did King Kong.... Climb the Empire State Building? ...He couldn't fit in the elevator."

"Killers normally target Family and friends Good thing I don't have any friends."

"What did the gaysian give his buddy? A bro-job."

"I decided to face reality today and I definitely won't be doing that again anytime soon."

"The bartender says ""sorry, we don't serve time travellers here"" A time traveller walks into a bar."