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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between tired and exhausted? When you run in front of a car you get tired. When you run behind a car you get exhausted."

"Good morning babe! Do you like good girls? [Starts making you breakfast] or bad girls [burns the toast] Him: How did you get in my house?"

"Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster? So we can think about a solution in silence."

"The lady at the massage parlor asked if I wanted a happy ending, I said yes and then she proceeded to tell me the plot of Homeward Bound."

"Wife: ""you think all that sugar you fed the kids this morning was a wise idea?"" Me: ""why?"" W: M: W: ""they're running along side the car"""

"knock knock joke ""knock knock"" ""who's there"" ""jerry"" ""jerry who? ""jerry seinfeld"""

"How British is Adele ? She would call you at least 1000 times to tell how sorry she is ."

"Why don't you see many chemists with master's degrees working with acids and bases? To really understand acids and bases, you need a pHd."

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? One stops sucking when you slap it and the other is a blonde."

"A reporter interviewed a 103-year-old woman. ""And what is the best thing about being 103?"" the reporter asked. She simply replied, ""No peer pressure."""