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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my coffee Strong and black."

"Updog (terrible joke I posted in dadjokes) Dad: (sniffs) it smells like updog in here. Son: What's up dog? Dad: Just chilling homie, what's up with you!?"

"Old MacDonald had a really bad scrabble hand...... E I E I O....."

"I have been struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide but my friends have been very supportive... they insist that I go through with it."

"Amazon review: Amazon river DO NOT GO HERE! Everything tries to kill you, plus they don't even have free shipping."

"What's the worst part about being a black Jew? you have to sit at the back of the gas chamber."

"They take Opposite Day seriously here at El Sol. I love sushi/getting paid to eat, but the dead mariachi band is something of a mood-killer."

"People with house arrest ankle bracelets get so touchy when you compare them to a dog's invisible fence."

"I realized why the media isn't taking my presidential campaign seriously. Occasionally, I'll slip up and accidentally tell the truth."

"I've accepted the fact that being cremated is my last hope for a smoking, hot body."