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Joke of the Day

"Yo momma's so ugly... When the cops shoot her, the bullets come back and ask for blindfolds."

"There was this story on overcrowded animal shelters... I just couldn't put it down."

"Child protective services? Who's protecting the parents Huh? WHO'S PROTECTING THE PARENTS?"

"Need to get up early tomorrow so I've set my neighbor's leaf blower for 6 a.m."

"What does the Pope use to dry his hands? Papal towels."

"My eyesight is good, but my strongest sense is non."

"What's the term for when the pool breaks during water birth? A midwife crisis."

"What does British parliament name as the #1 cause for pedophilia? Sexy children"

"When 13 witches collectively fart in a cauldron and quickly cover it with a lid... *lowers shades* ...Dutch Coven."

"Did you hear about the two gay Irishmen? Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fits Michael"