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Joke of the Day

"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... ...not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car"

Next Joke
 
"What do you call someone who is rude and has no corners? A circle-jerk."
"Why is it a bad idea to change clothes at a Pokemon's house? Because he might Pikachu!"
"Hub: Let's go see a movie Me: Ok. How bout this one? *points* H: Why do we have to see a movie with subtitles? I didn't do anything wrong."
"My wife asked me to stop singing Oasis songs I said ""Hey, this would be a great joke to repost!"""
"How to get a guys attention: 1. Take off your shirt 2. Be a TV"
"Like boxes of shit in your house? Get a cat."
"[sex ed in middle school] Teacher: ""Today we are having sex ed"" Ed: hell yeah we are! Teacher: ""Education"""
"What is H.P. Lovecraft's cook book called? The Necronomnomnomicon."
"A hamburger walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Sorry, we don't serve food here."""