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Joke of the Day

"Oh ..your account is protected? What do you tweet? Nuclear launch codes?:-)"

"What did the halal lettuce say to the halal cucumber ? Lets make salat"

"I would tell you a joke about UDP But you might not get it"

"My favorite sex position is the JFK... I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"Want to know where to find the worst pun in Alberta? Call gary"

"Why did John keep on finding cracker crumbs in his bed? His wife didn't know any decent crackers."

"BOSS: I don't know if you're the right man for the job BAKER: NO PLEASE *holds up dough* I KNEAD THIS"

"Why can't you fool an aborted baby? They weren't born yesterday."

"My wife said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkeys. I thought she was kidding... ...and then I saw her face."

"Sometimes I make up raps about the mortgage brokers and escrow officers I work with in case one of these mother fuckers tries to battle me."