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Joke of the Day

"My marriage is a mess and I'm in real financial trouble. But the McRib will return one day, and that's what keeps me going."

"What part does Woody Harrelson want to be remembered for most? Harrelson's woodie."

"Me:- Boss i am not coming into work to day coz i am sick. Boss:- How sick are you? Me:- Well i am in bed with my sister"

"Imagine a place where you can buy everything related to the Sith and the Dark Side It would be called the Darth Mall... ...and everything would be half off"

"90's kids won't get this... Social Security benefits."

"What did the burger say to the other burger? ""Aw man, it's my big moment, I'm getting served to someone! I hope I don't *ham* it up!"" The other burger looks at him. ""Holy shit, a talking burger."""

"Knock Knock..... Whos there?? 9x11 9x11 Who?? 9x11 paper fight... I came up with this is a fit of insanity from sleep deprivation, so just laugh at it."

"Is there a mouse that doesn't make a clicking noise as I'm trying to close 10 windows when my boss walks into my office?"

"*sees a hot girl on the train* ""ay gurl check this out"" *i try to seductively eat a banana but i miss my mouth & smush it into my forehead*"

"Please stop giving your dogs human names. My sons Buster & Lucky are getting pretty sensitive about this!"