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Joke of the Day

"I don't know what the next iPhone looks like... But what I can tell you, its going to be a big 6S"

"What's the difference between negligence and falling off of the empire state building? Nothing if you're a gorilla."

"Do you why I never excel during a meeting? Because I use powerpoint for my presentation, of course."

"The other day, my friend said that he thinks that I might have Asperger's Syndrome. I couldn't tell if he was joking, or being serious, or happy, or sad, or angry, or frightened, or..."

"What mythical creature is the most bloody? A hemogoblin!"

"Posting a status update before responding to someone's text is the easiest way to let them know how unimportant they are."

"What do you tell two lesbians before they start a play? Break a leg! (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=scissoring)"

"I tried to buy admission to the World-famous Knife Museum... ...but people kept cutting in line."

"Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth? It's pasteurized before you can even see it."

"Why are E.T.'s eyes so big? He saw the phone bill."