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Joke of the Day

"I hate when the cops throw me in the back of the squad car like they didn't hear me call shotgun."

"He told me I was too pretty not to smile. So I flipped him off, tackled him and shoved my middle finger up his nose. Now I'm smiling."

"Wife and I are having an argument: At what point do we tell the highway it's adopted?"

"How much energy did Hitler use during his reign? 6 million killajews"

"How much cocaine can Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men."

"I am a perfect role model... ...for someone who takes ""how much can you fuck up your life?"" As an actual challenge."

"The secret of getting ahead is... not having a rib."

"Did you hear about the motorbike who came out to his parents? He was bi-cycle"

"""Would you like to partake in resistance training?"" ""No."" ""That's what I like to hear."""

"Why can't T-Rexes clap? Because they're extinct."