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Joke of the Day

"The coolest Superhero would be The Inaudible Woman."

"Your eyes say ""No, no!"" but your ball gag says...""Mmmph! Mmmph!"" Whatever, you have a boner so that's really all the affirmation I need."

"What's an sjw's favorite subject? Triggerednometry"

"What happened to the ice cube? It came straight outta Compton's glass."

"What do parsley and pubes have in common? You push them out of the way and keep eating."

"My grandfather always used to say that to really know a person, you have to walk in his shoes. He had six hundred and nine pairs when they finally caught him."

"What do you call a psychic midget that just robbed a bank? Small medium at large"

"Q: What do you call a frog with no hind legs? A: Unhoppy!!"

"My buddies and I were running a train on this German girl I had to keep telling her there were only 8 of us."

"Why does the prosecutor only choose jurors who drive Hummers? So that there's no chance of a hung jury"