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Joke of the Day
"I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk, we go to parties."
Next Joke
"I don't like how funerals are usually at 9 or 10 AM. I'm not a mourning person. Edit: WHY THE HELL DID THIS MAKE THE JOKES FRONT PAGE"
"What did Satan name his new bar? The BeelzebPub"
"A man sent ten puns to his friends, hoping at least one would make them laugh No pun in ten did."
"Me: ..and a small sprite. McDonald's Girl: Want a large? All sizes are only $.99 Me: I ASKED FOR SMALL YOU DIABETES PEDDLER ok gimme a large"
"I had a scary moment when..... I had a scary moment when I was opening my new expensive furniture with a stanley knife. I damn near slit my shelf"
"Damn girl, are you a math book? Girl:No, why? Because you've got so many problems."
"How do you find out if a dead man has autism? You give them an autopsy"
"An Electric Field Walks up to a Dipole and asks, ""Do you have a moment?"""
"My father always told me it isn't real money if you don't make it yourself..... of course that was before he got arrested for counterfeiting."