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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you mix a prostitute and a midget? A little fuck"

"another bar joke a neutron walks into a bar and asks ' how much for a drink ' the bartender replies ' for you, no charge'"

"Why can't you have multi-story buildings in China? That would be wong on so many levels!"

"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they're both stuck up bitches."

"What are the three kinds of women's cancer? 1. Breast Cancer 2. Ovarian Cancer 3. Feminism"

"Imagination: because if I fcuked you as much as I thought about it, we'd both be unemployed."

"I wanna get rid of this memory foam mattress, but it knows too much."

"(First date) Me: Don't let her know you're a satanist Her: So what do you do for fun? Me: WHATEVER THE DARK LORD COMMANDS"

"You could make dinner for a toddler, or you could just cut out the middle man & throw away a plate of food and squirt ketchup on the dog."

"Listen, kid. When you've spent 4 days eating cat food in a Vietnamese spin-fuck chair for phonics, we'll talk about hooked."