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Joke of the Day

"If I could time-travel, forget killing baby Hitler. I'd go back to use every come back I ever thought of 10 minutes too late."

"Why are marines who can't swim better? They defend the ship with way more enthusiasm."

"Nsfw Whats the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? The zit waits untill you're 12 to come onto your face."

"I keep a knife in my Bible so if someone wants to kill me, I ask to read it & when I get to the 6th Commandment, I stab them in the face."

"Have you heard of the band 1023 MB? Have you? No? Probably because they don't have any GIGS!"

"It is always the wrong time of month."

"Wish I could focus on anything with even half the intensity of my dog watching me eat yogurt."

"I started up a poster design company called ""Original Poster"" We don't deliver."

"Chuck Norris Joke. Why does Mona Lisa smiling? The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live."

"I always clench up before I drive into a tunnel because I'm afraid Wile E. Coyote might have just drawn it on there."