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Joke of the Day

"Side effects may include: upset stomach, diarrhea, some wolves will chase you, like 6-12 wolves, it's ok"

"What is a vampires favorite drink? ."

"Why did the hipster burn himself while eating pizza? Because he ate it before it was cool."

"Don't move to Mars because of president-elect Trump. Last I checked, it was a red state."

"She ran her fingers through my hair and pulled hard. I wanted to ask her to do it harder - but probably inappropriate for the hair salon."

"My new girlfriend is amazing in the bedroom... She goes down on me more than the EA servers..."

"My gynecologist didn't think my ventriloquism skills were as charming as I did."

"A teacher challenged 10 of her students to come with a pun each, the whole class would get no homework if one of them made her laugh. But no pun in 10 did."

"I'm gonna learn Spanish so I can see if Mexicans make Cuatro de Julio jokes that are just as stupid and unfunny as our Cinco de Mayo jokes."

"My wife is gone for the next 3 days, so if any ladies out there want to come over & yell at me to take out the garbage & not have sex, hmu"