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Joke of the Day

"Ladies, never buy Activia yogurt because the rest of us are in line behind you thinking ""Awww, that poor girl can't shit without yogurt!"""

"I am so dwarf that... I am so dwarf that people don't take me seriously enough to win any competition other than stand up comedy!"

"Why didn't the girl go on a date with the artist? Because he was sketchy."

"What do you call a street on the Mexican border? Wall Street"

"Why are men smarter during sex? Because they're plugged into a fucking know it all"

"An Irishman, An Englishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender says ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"What's older than sand? The reposts on reddit. *seriously need new jokes*"

"Why were the twin towers disappointed? They ordered pepperoni and all they got was plane."

"I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister... It was wrong on so many levels."

"Used parachute for sale. Only used once, never been opened."