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Joke of the Day

"Wife wants to relax today! Wife: Today, I want to relax, so I have brought three movie tickets. Husband: why three tickets? Wife: you and your parents."

"A married man's prayer; Dear God, you gave me childhood, you took it away You gave me youth, you took it away. You gave me a wife.......... Its been years now... Just reminding you......"

"A shower so cold, you call it by your exes name"

"Did you hear about the kid who fixed the Internet? The Internet: 7/10 The Internet with Rice: 10/10"

"Pro debating tip: Shave one eyebrow and draw a new one really high."

"What do you call it when you spill meth into your cake mix? Baking Bad"

"Some people are here for laughs. Some for therapy. Some for sex. Me? I'm here to learn the difference between your and you're."

"How well did the sailor do in school? Not bad actually, he got high 'C's."

"I sent an Adele album to a guy who bought it on eBay, anyway his payment cancelled and I'm out of pocket .... Should I just give up or should I keep on chasing payments"

"January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December, Cucumber..."