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Joke of the Day

"Last requests After I die, I have 2 requests on what shall happen to me. 1) I want my remains spread around Disney world. 2) I do not wish to be cremated"

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"I think Google's a woman... Because it won't let you finish a sentence without coming up with other suggestions."
"""Don't dip your pen in company ink."" - HR training seminar explaining why I shouldn't sleep with the receptionist...I think."
"I think I might be suffering from anorexia. Every time I look in the mirror I just see a fat guy."
"I've decided to start my own herb garden. I've got a lot of extra Thyme."
"What's a mathematician's favorite plant? The geome-tree!"
"why don't foot fetishists ever win anything? because they like the taste of defeat. i'm not even sorry."
"Are there any 6 foot penguins round here? Asked the stranger who just pulled up wih his truck outside a bar. ""No"" the barkeep replied. ""Well fuck,"" he said, ""I guess I just ran over a nun..."""
"And if I die before I wake I pray a virus my phone to take."
"What is a downies favourite song? Hot potato. Hot potato."
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