152799

Joke of the Day

"A man asks his wife on a Friday evening... Husband: Shall we have a nice weekend? Wife: Sure, why not? Husband: Ok then, see you on Monday!"

"What's black and blue and HATES sex? The kid in my trunk."

"ME: I had salmon for lunch. WIFE: the L is silent. ME: Ha, I knew that. I meant unch."

"Just saw a man crying because he doesn't know what a homophone is To comfort him I sat next to him, patted his back and said, ""They're, their, there..."""

"My hair is 100% organic, but it has been tested on animals. Portions may have been used to drape over cats' heads to make little wigs."

"Girl: do you have a condom? Me: c'mon what's the worst that could happen *hears a knock on the door 4: daddy I think I started a fire"

"What would happen if all of the mass in the universe turned into energy? The universe would be light."

"When I get a little tipsy I like to go to a random neighbourhood, knock on the door and say, ""Sarah Connor?""."

"Why does Mitt Romney never win at Jenga? Because he takes too much from the bottom and middle and gives it to the top."

"What's the difference between a jew and... ...Do you know what's the difference between a jew and a boy scaut? A boy scout comes back from a camp."