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Joke of the Day

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns But then he forgot, Toucan play that game"

"Skywritten letters: SUSAN I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF MONEY FOR THIS WRITING BUT THIS IS HOW I WANTED TO PROPOSE; WILL YOU MAR"

"What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A beanerschnitzel"

"Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months."

"Why is that Mac owners always say their computers never get viruses... ...when it is clear that being a pretentious douche is a clear example of a virus that is exclusive to Mac ownership?"

"Person 1: It must be terrible for an opera singer to realize that he can never sing again. Person 2: Yes but it's much more terrible if he doesn't realize it."

"People tend to think I'm a serial killer.... They don't think that for for very long though!"

"I'm not popular, but I have nice friends. I'm not rich but I have what I need. I may not be liked but I know I'm loved."

"(Wedding) Priest: They've written their vows Wife: *recites beautiful vows* Me: *takes out notecard* I love you and cheese the same amount"

"Dead babies What's worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees!"