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Joke of the Day

"They say video games teach kids bad habits, but I've gotten out of at least 17 DUI's by flinging a banana peel at the cop car behind me."

"Natural Disasters are just Mother Nature's way of saying, ""How many times I have to tell you to stop making such a mess? Go to your room.."""

"""I need to talk to you."" Has the power to make you remember every single bad thing you've ever done. Ever."

"Lesbian relationships The other day a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently ""in HD"" was the wrong answer."

"Can we hold off on finding a cure for cancer for a minute and focus on getting the timing right on automatic faucets in public restrooms?"

"A reposted joke walks into a bar... It gets downvoted into submission"

"It's my mate's birthday today. He doesn't drink, smoke, gamble or cheat on his missus. We've got no idea how to celebrate it."

"What has 5 eyes? invisibility"

"What do you call a gay sailor who happens to have a cold? Phlegmbuoyant."

"What do you call a Kansas cover band composed of physicists? Baryon my wayward son!"