152618

Joke of the Day

"*deletes fb account* *leaves social media* *goes to Himalayas* *pigeon comes with a note* *opens note* *candy crush request* *dies*"

"Bruce Willis is being chased by a pug. he jumps in a taxi and escapes. he breathes a sigh of relief. the driver turns around. it's the pug"

"Want to hear a joke? Windows vista"

"Yay know, I'm no pedophile, but this childporn charge is some bullshit... Since when was it illegal search for euthanasia?"

"A dyslexic bank robber... Runs into a bank with a gun and screams out waving his gun around. ""Every mother sticker put your hands up with is a fuck up!"""

"Mom: ""Why are you always on your phone? What's so great about the internet?"" Me: It doesn't constantly ask me questions"

"what did the leper say to the hooker Keep the tip."

"Growing a beard is the closest I've come to caring for an animal."

"The rest of these people must be totally shitfaced. -me, driving in England"

"What do you get if you cross the Internet with a currant bread? Spotted click"