152599

Joke of the Day

"Years after presidency, the introverted former president Obama is asked if he has ever had an affair. He responds with ""I've never been one to cum outside of Michelle."""

"As a young child my mom told me I could be anything I wanted to be. It turns out that the police call this identity theft."

"Q: What do you call a video of pedestrians? A: Footage."

"You know its my phone if it looks like someone fingerpainted the touch screen in donut glaze."

"Why is camping so fun? It's in tents!"

"I was going to write a joke about feminism... But my husband wouldn't let me."

"I want to start a subreddit about erectile dysfunction, but I seem to be having a hard time getting it up."

"A picture may say a thousand words, but with Photoshop, it tells a thousand lies."

"This one time in 1993, Brett Favre sent an alpha-numeric representation of his penis to my beeper."

"I'm sick of this boy scouts training. It drives me knots"