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Joke of the Day

"A man gestures to an empty parking lot... and says, ""This is all asphalt."" Then his ass says, ""Don't blame me."""

"My doctor told me I am anorexic Now I have that to deal with on top of being fat"

"Karate Kid (1984, PG): An old Asian man tricks a bullied teenager into doing household chores for him. [126 minutes]"

"Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman A good example: ""I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!"""

"You totally had me at ""I want you"" and I was so excited, I completely missed the "" To leave me alone"" part....Sorry my bad."

"FUN FACT: Scientists have proven, there IS in fact life outside the United States."

"How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb? Who says it's dark?"

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? By walking... J. K. Rowling"

"What did one butt cheek say to the other? If we pull together, we can stop this shit."

"Slogan idea for a Braille company Loads of high quality Braille products, many of which you've never seen before!"