152354

Joke of the Day

"When I told my buddy that I'd be with his mom tonight, he informed me that she had died 5 years ago That's never stopped me before"

"I hate when my tattoo guy asks if he can take pics for his website and then I wake up the next day realising I don't have any tattoos."

"Me: Was this product tested on animals? Clerk: Yes. Me: [outraged] I knew it!!!! Clerk: Sir, that's a dog leash."

"You agree to sound convincing when you lie about changing and I agree to believe you. Formalities over, let's get this relationship started."

"A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender for an entendre ,She says ""double or single"" he says ""Double"" she says ""OK yours is a big one """

"You wanna mess with me, pal? You wanna mess with the saddest man in town? I've got a whole crew of sad boys just waiting to burst into tears"

"""Is anyone here named Jeff?"" Jeff: Yes Geoff: Yeos"

"Why is Donald Trump popular in the Antarctic and Arctic? Because he's doing well in the poles."

"We've secretly replaced the G with a K on this bottle of Jergens. Let's see if he notices."

"what do you call a cow with no legs ground beef"