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Joke of the Day
"Note to self: Remove dog before stabbing box to make air-holes."
Next Joke
"""Um, thanks?"" -A woman who posed for a Picasso painting"
"What do you say to Simba when he's slow? Mufasa! ""move faster"" heu heu heu"
"How many US Congress members does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one. They just hold it still and wait for the world to revolve around them."
"Got into a car accident with a mobile library before. I'm perfectly fine, but the police really threw the book at me."
"What do you call an insane nocturnal blood-sucking parasite? A lunartick."
"What does Pittsburgh have in common with Peter Pan? The Pirates always lose."
"Why are women terrible drivers? Because making sandwiches behind the wheel is a lot harder than making them in the kitchen."
"I got some weed and hoes. Let's do some gardening!"
"TIL: Studies have shown that people who annually experiance more birthdays tend to live longer. 'The more you know'"