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Joke of the Day
"Two men walk into a bar. The first man is okay, but the other suffered a terrible head injury."
Next Joke
"What do you call a guy with no arms and legs at your door? Whatever his name is you ass"
"You look like something I'd draw with my left hand"
"Friday night. Sitting in a bar. As the designated driver. NO, I'M NOT BITTER. I'M PUNCHING YOU IN THE FACE OUT OF A SENSE OF WONDER."
"What does a lingerie store and a guitar store have in common? They both sell G-strings"
"I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control I thought to myself ""this changes everything"""
"Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you just plow thru Uranus because it's all gas. I cannot respond maturely."
"My girlfriend laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta."
"did you hear about the new fruit powered motor? it runs on apples but it still mangoes"
"""Oh yeah"" - me, remembering Iowa exists."