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Joke of the Day

"""I thought I'd thaw a pussy cat."" -- dogs deciding what to take out of the freezer for dinner"

"What's another name for a clever duck ? A wise quacker !"

"Why are birds always short on cash? Because they have bills."

"Why are fruit fetishists never alone? Because they cum in pears."

"I was going to tell a gay joke But fuck it"

"A lot of the parents at my kids' school don't really seem into sharing a laugh about the inescapability of death."

"I'd like the chicken-fried steak, please."" Uh lemme get back to you *runs to kitchen* YO WE GOT ANY CHICKENS THAT KNOW HOW TO FRY A STEAK"

"What's a pirates favorite letter? Ye think it be R but it a actually be the C"

"I don't know why I still tell ""just the tip"" jokes. I'm not even that into them."

"Parachuting is probably the best way to put your life in the hands of a backpack."