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Joke of the Day

"I am going to lead a long life. That's the only way I will ever get caught up on all my homework."

"What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society."

"Sarah Palin is claiming she had a sexual relationship with Bill Clinton. When asked, Clinton responded ""Close, but no cigar."""

"At Dunkin Donuts- 8: Can I get choc. milk? Me: We have that at home. 8: We have coffee at home too... Me: WHO TAUGHT YOU LOGICAL THINKING?!"

"I'm going to make a calendar of sexy Islamic extremists I will call it, Ji-hotties"

"[phone rings] ""Mr Hughes?"" ""Yeah."" ""We need u to come pick yr son up from school."" ""Ugh. Whats he done now?"" ""Nothing. Its nearly midnight."""

"I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer."

"Why can't the main character of Fallout 4 get a girlfriend? Because they're too young for him"

"Why was the doctor so stressed out? He lost his patients..."

"Hi Operator, Can you connect me to Steph Curry? Operator: Just dial 739 Guy: I did but there's no Ring"