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Joke of the Day
"What's brown and runny? Usian Bolt"
Next Joke
"Once I had a machine that made counterfeit pennies. I regret it now, but it made a lot of cents at the time."
"A nurse goes to the bank As she is about to sign her name on the deposit slip she pulls out a rectul thermometer, ""awww crap some asshole has my pen."""
"So today I found out why clickbait is so effective"
"*throws caution to the wind* *blows right back into face*"
"If the world's fate ever hangs on my mom opening a picture mail on her phone in under ten minutes, we are all doomed."
"Waitress at Olive Garden tells me to say ""when"" and starts grating cheese on my salad I say nothing Room fills with Parmesan No one survives"
"One good turn gets most of the blankets."
"""ARGHH A HOUSE SPIDER"" [spider removes earbuds] ""yah actually im more into ambient trance but whatever"""
"ME: I'll see you in a month WIFE: Don't forget to write ME: It's highly unlikely I'd forget such a basic skill, Sharon"