151857

Joke of the Day

"you should be able to order mcnuggets in any quantity. just have a flat price for a single nug, like a quarter. i feel strongly about this."

"What's the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean."

"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? It looks like you landed on your face"

"if you're stuck in a group text, an easy way out is to throw your phone in the street and start a new life"

"For somebody fluent in over six million forms of communication, it's weird that C-3PO went with ""gay-tinged passive aggression."""

"What do you call Watson when Sherlock isn't around? Holmeless"

"Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I cant even get into my own pants."

"*bursts into room Me: GUYS! GUYS! I FOUND A UNICORN Guys: Yeah sure,show us then! *holds up single kernel of corn *gets violently beaten"

"So a realtor is passing out information for a house as potential buyers are walking in at an Open House A guy says ""Hey, can I see one of those pamphlets?"" The realtor says ""Brochure"""

"What is the medical term for owning too many dogs? [A Roverdose](http://i.imgur.com/BtyF5ys.jpg)"