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Joke of the Day

"If Justin Beiber and Rebecca Black were drowning and you could only save one, Would you go to lunch or read the paper?"

"Tall girls might get modeling contracts but I can still ask for the high school student discount."

"A man with Alzheimer's starts telling a joke. where am I?"

"Have you heard , Donald Trump is having a sex change operation ? He is tired of pretending ... now he wants to identify himself as a real man."

"Wife:Did you take ambien last night? Me: *recalls riding a unicorn that's on fire* No, why? W:The dog's wearing a saddle and she's orange."

"Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their pecker is on their face."

"What's Bill Clinton's favorite Pink Floyd jam? Have a Cigar"

"Guess what my Valentine gave me? Carpal Tunnel..."

"Having trouble with your iPhone saying ""No Service""? Just put your shirt and shoes back on."

"If my wife comes to bed nude it's ON, but when it's me at the end of the bed naked she's all ""what are you doin, we're at Mattress City."""