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Joke of the Day

"You don't need to write ""imo"". Nobody is confusing your tweets with Nietzsche."

"What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle? [x-post from r/bicycling] Attire"

"If her age is on the clock then she's ready for the cock"

"A rude answer to when someone tells you they want something that isnt going to happen. Want in one hand and shit in the other one, then tell me which one fills up first."

"I tore the elbow of my shirt last week, but I was able to stitch it back together. On the hole, it's held up surprisingly well."

"I have the dance moves of a dog with mittens on its paws."

"I once asked a friend what he would do if the world was going to end. He told me he would fuck anything that moves. He then asked me the same question. I told him I'd stand very very still."

"What do Jesus Christ and Male Porn-stars have in common? They both take their sweet time before the second coming."

"How many cops shootings does it take to have an indictment? Error [value unknown]"

"Can someone please explain this joke to me ""It shoulds be spelled 'colllllllllllllege cause ive taken far more than 2 L's"" My friend sais L means loses but loses of what"