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Joke of the Day

"Nowadays, French fries are made from potatoes. What did they used to be made from before the 1960s? Potatoes"

"Why was little Jimmy fishing in the well? Because Tom had previously drowned in the well and everyone said ""Tom is sleeping with the fishes."""

"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogy in it!"

"My wife asked me why I was walking around the house with a gun I responded, ""Because of those fucking decepticons!"" I laughed. She laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster."

"Crude oil is the worst kind of oil because it says offensive things while it pollutes the water and ruins our planet."

"What does sex have in common with a savings account... What does sex have in common with a savings account? Answer is: ""You lose interest once you make a withdrawal""."

"Too sick to walk to the drugstore. Anyone have a recipe for turning meth back into cold medicine?"

"My wife and I were stuck in traffic. She said, ""I'm turning round."" ""I can see that,"" I replied. ""Try eating less chocolate."""

"How to fall downstairs...... Step 1 Step 6 Step 9,10,11,12"

"What's the best kind of alcohol for your liver? Nonanol."