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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick in your ass."

"Pedophiles They're fucking immature assholes."

"What nickname did the police give to the new blonde woman police officer? A fair cop."

"Two does walk out of a forest. One turns to the other and says... I'll never do that for two bucks again"

"On my birthday, my wife asked me to take her some where she never visited... On my birthday, my wife asked me to take her some where she never visited. So I took her to the kitchen :P"

"Unsettling sounds #23 - Ice-cream van after dark"

"Heard a good joke from a patient today. (Xpost from /r/nursing) Two inmates standing around. One lets out a loud fart and the other says, ""Hey, that sounds about my size."" Had to share..."

"[Heart: Tell her her eyes are windows into eternity, filled with fire... Brain: Beacons, stars in a vast darkness] Mouth: HEY GREAT EYEBALLS"

"If I could go back in time & change any event that would alter the course of history: I probably wouldn't have super sized that fry order."

"Her cooking is so bad, it would make medicine sick!"