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Joke of the Day

"Always bring a stopwatch to church, guys. You want the girl that spends the longest amount of time in confession."

"What's the bro-iest airport in the US? LAX"

"If your joints pop, snap, and crack when you move your not old... Your just crispy. "

"This girl was banging on my door all night Eventually i had to let her out."

"By the nervous look on his face I thought my boyfriend had an engagement ring hidden in his hand but it was just a stranger's bra. Whew."

"What did the pair of flip-flops say to the approaching man with disgusting feet? Shoe."

"What did the hipster stoner call his marijuana pipe? Ira Glass"

"I experimented a ton in college. I tried naps in the evening, naps in the morning, sometimes even 3 naps in a row."

"TIFU by asking my wife what is the difference between a penis and a paycheck? She said ""there is a possibility of increase in size of your paycheck."""

"What programming language do they use in Star Wars? JawaScript"