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Joke of the Day

"Poured Tresemme on a spider in the shower & scooted him down the drain, he reemerged w/ voluminous hair & screamed at me in a French accent"

"How to tie the strongest knot ever: 1. Put some headphones in your pocket. 2. Wait one minute. Ta Da !"

"If your parents, your boss, and three of your friends invite you to a party at a clinic its a trap"

"I'm not an expert on masturbating But I hold my own"

"My friend broke one of his bones in a funny accident. It was humerus."

"Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he's dead."

"What are the cleverest bees ? Spelling bees !"

"What did the hurricane say to Hillary? I didn't know disasters can run for office"

"I can't believe Earth is 2017 years old! ...plus a couple billion years..."

"A sandwich walks into a bar... The bartender says we don't serve food here."