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Joke of the Day

"what do you call a fake noodle? An IMPASTA!"

"I wrote a limerick on a train yesterday There once was a fella named Rick Who started to date this hot chick But brief was romance For tucked in her pants This bitch the whole time had a dick."

"Watching my kids play the Xbox Kinect and it's taking me back to when I was a kid and we had this great game called playing outside."

"How does a blonde count a thousand sheep? She counts the legs, and divides by 4."

"""The toilet is overflowing."" -Sir Isaac Newton"

"What's a good comeback for a women when she's asked to get her husband a sandwich? She better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"

"I've always been a B+ student. It's in my blood."

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and /r/Jokes? Nothing. They both manage to stay popular despite a whole load of crap."

"And the award for Best Actress goes to...*opens envelope*....my 4 year old daughter for her overly-dramatic scene in ""Bath Time""."

"What do you call a dog that harasses kids? A pit bully!"