149605
Joke of the Day
"A child will either brush their teeth for 3 seconds or for 15 minutes."
Next Joke
"You don't make any sense. I would know because I'm unemployed."
"Why does santa say ho ho ho? Because three hos are better than one!"
"I've realized that when my wife says ""what?"" its not because she didnt hear me, shes just giving me a chance to unsay something I just said."
"My grandma was so poor she only left me recipes for pasta dishes in her will, you could say she was my.. *golf swings* Pennefactor."
"ME: *smashes bottle into a ship* MAN: Oh cool, what are you naming it? ME: I'm not *smashes another bottle* I just hate ships"
"I was feeling down. My girlfriend told me to go somewhere that I haven't been in a while that would cheer me up. (NSFW) So I stuck it in her ass. I feel much better"
"If a cop beats a pregnant woman till the fetus dies, is it a miscarriage of justice?"
"An atheist, a vegan and a crossfitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within two minutes."
"It's so cold outside... I even saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!"