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Joke of the Day
"Meeting new people and trying my best to act all sunglasses emoji."
Next Joke
"When I was about 8, my mom would play hide and go seek with me.. She was really good, too. Mom, where are you?"
"What does Salvador Dali eat for breakfast? surreal"
"What's green and sings? Elvis Parsley."
"Whenever I see someone with spider web tattoos on their elbows I spray them with Raid and attempt to flush them down the toilet."
"My iPod can hold over 3,000 songs, or one voicemail from my mom.."
"I let an AT&T Customer Service Representative call me Brenda for a half hour because I was too embarrassed to correct him"
"When I integrate I don't add the constant I guess I have my limits"
"Don't take me camping because if I see a bear, I will hug that bear."
"What's the difference between a Donald Trump and Ellen Pao? Edit: Trump can ruin a business right."