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Joke of the Day
"I don't play guitar, but I sure would pluck your G-string."
Next Joke
"Eternal damnation for the sorry acquaintance who cons you into watching his favorite film and keeps looking to see if you're reacting."
"How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a swimming pool."
"Just found out my best friend is on Match.com... but I can't make fun of him about it because then he'll wanna know why I was browsing single men on Match.com."
"The trouble with quotes on the internet. ""The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine."" - Abraham Lincoln."
"furniture disease i just got home from the doctor's and i have really bad news. turns out i have the furniture disease. its where your chest hangs down past your drawers"
"I'm sorry I don't speak any English -me when someone starts talking to me"
"There are 10 types of people in the world: People who understand ternary, people who don't, and people who thought this was going to be the binary joke."
"I feel like (for me) to be great one day is to finish what Hitler didn't... Art school"
"Why are parents boring? Because they're groan-ups."