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Joke of the Day

"It was so hot when we went on holiday last year that we had to take turns sitting in each other's shadow."

"Mario recently broke up with Peach. His reason: ""It's not a-you, It's a-me, Mario."""

"I can never understand why people act surprised when horrible things happen. Where have you been since birth?"

"If by raw food you mean cookie dough, then yes, I love raw food."

"How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her."

"What's the name of Tyler The Creator's dad? The Tyler Creator"

"Katana is Japanese for ""sword"". In Japan they have great respect for swords and their moms dont knock them off the wall while vacuuming"

"If a malevolent demon is watching you sleep, simply go to Settings > General > Privacy > Malevolent Demon Who Watches You Sleep (Deactivate)"

"What type of cancer is an anarchist immune to? Prostate"

"I hate Russian dolls... They're full of themselves."