149504

Joke of the Day

"What are the options? Air Hostess to passenger: ""Sir would you like to have dinner?"" Passenger: ""What are the options?"" Air Hostess: ""Yes and No."""

"If you love someone, let them know often. Because you might not be able to say it again. Also, same thing works for people you f*cking hate"

"Variants for running. Variants for running:- 1. Hot girl in front of you. 2. Creepy guy behind you. (If 1 applies to you, you're probably 2)"

"When I draw a fish I always.... ... Draw it to scale"

"MAN: What are you doing? ME: [pointing gun at lake] Fishing MAN: No way will- SALMON: [walks out of lake with fins up]"

"Did you hear the one about the amber alert? Neither did the children in my basement."

"My girlfriend is like God. Doesn't exist..."

"Come on, terrorists. Stuff your pockets with colorful beads before exploding. It doesn't have to be ALL negative."

"For all you Engineers out there; A statically indeterminate beam walks into a bar, the bartender asks: ""What do you want?"" The beam replies: ""Oh, just give me a moment."""

"A Good Lawyer Knows the Law A good lawyer knows the law; a great lawyer knows the judge."