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Joke of the Day

"You know what sucks about Karaoke? Coworkers don't appreciate the time & effort that I put into my make up or outfit before singing Madonna"

"*slips the attendant $20* ""make sure you pick me out a good one"" Sir this is a daycare... ""uh huh *winks* a daycare"""

"Please stop making 9/11 jokes ... they're very plane."

"Don't follow Rockin Robin on twitter Apparently all he does is tweet tweet tweet"

"How do you know when you're watching too much porn? Your MILF tells you so."

"What do mother's who boycott pharmacy drugs and kids who stop playing valve's fps' have in common? They are both over the counter strike"

"COMMENCE ANNIHILATI... Sorry, wrong notes, that's tomorrow's speech. Here's the right one: You have nothing to fear from Project Omega ..."

"Why did the stupid boy wear a turtle neck sweater? To hide his flea collar."

"Me:I take you are seldom go to the toilet. Scumbag Friend: Why? Me:Because you are full with shit!"

"Next time you prematurely ejaculate Just remember you probably still lasted longer than Ronda Rousey"