149229

Joke of the Day

"A new survey shows that a fifth of British men have no idea how to turn on the washing machine. I find chocolates or flowers usually do the trick."

Next Joke
 
"Me: Will my girlfriend be ok using Chanel 5 if she's never used Chanel 1-4 Salesgirl: *into walkie talkie* security he's back here again"
"What's the difference between a baby and a tree? Trees don't bleed when you cut their limbs off."
"Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? He was drinking on the job."
"If everyone contributes a small amount of their income... Together we can pool the resources to defeat socialism."
"I would rather text someone for a hundred hours than have to spend one second talking to them on the phone."
"So I've been thinking the world's getting more pessimistic... What do you fucking retards think?"
"I was interviewing a guy for a position as a dentist Turns out he wasn't very great at the job. I told him and he broke down crying. He couldn't handle the tooth"
"I'm tired of writing ""Sent from my iPhone"" at the end of all me e-mails, maybe I should just get an iPhone"
"Why can't clocks keep secrets? Because, time will always tell."