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Joke of the Day

"How many jobs did Speaker Boehner create in the past 4 years as a Speaker? One, when he left."

"Secretly adding a tablespoon of butter to everything he eats is my long-term exit plan."

"Did you hear about the man who was hit over the head with a bobble-head in a rice field? It's the first reported case of a knick knack paddy whack."

"Why will the USA never go bankrupt? It will just host a telethon."

"What is the difference... What is the difference between unlawful and illegal? One is against the law and the other is a sick bird."

"I once went to an open air Queen concert. There was a terrible electrical storm during the performance. Thunderbolts and lightning. Very, very frightening."

"Why did a man eat a clock? He wanted to pass some time."

"I sold my sole to the Devil yesterday... He was pretty pissed off when he found out it wasn't a typo."

"What do you call an Irish-Canadian? a Mickey Moose"

"The crossing lights in Chuck Norris's home town say ""Die slowly"" and ""die quickly"". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian."