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Joke of the Day

"I'll never understand why the guy that invented Braille didn't just put the dots in shape of the actual letters."

"What do you call a frightened nun? A nervous habit"

"The cool thing about robbing a library is that you have two weeks before they notice."

"What does a doctor prescribe a hardcore porn actress, when her vagina is too swollen to work? Antifistamines."

"Your momma is so fat That when she dies, the moon will finally be able to break orbit"

"The necrophilia is strong with this one This is my best friend. She enjoys pina coladas, long walks on the beach, and the feeling of cold dead skin upon her body. http://imgur.com/Rie20hf"

"*rides in on giant turtle* Me:Sorry I'm late. Boss:You rode that to work? Me:No, went to the zoo. *phone rings* Me:That'll be the zoo."

"Two mormons walk into a bar..."

"What's the difference between England and a tea bag? ...A tea bag stays in the cup longer! #FIFAWORLDCUPBRAZIL"

"After shaking someone's hand, I like to maintain eye contact while applying hand sanitizer."