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Joke of the Day

"Original physics joke. I'm very proud. I was organizing my desk the other day and the Entropy Police gave me a ticket for disturbing the chaos."

"What's the difference between humor and odor? Humor is a shift of wit..."

"[my kid, literally every school morning] ""I hate mornings. I'm not getting up"" [1st day of summer vacation] ""dad, can we watch the sunrise"""

"Trying to figure out a Tiger Woods joke. All I know is the punchline: ""A hole in one."" Probably something to do with a vag."

"My husband grew a beard and suddenly I'm having to karate chop every woman we pass."

"A dyslexic walks into a bank and yells: ""Hands in the air motherfuckers! This is a stick up!"" Because he's just dyslexic and can still speak fine"

"When I'm driving I listen to the country station because it makes me want to get to my destination faster."

"See You Next Tuesday What's furry on the outside.. Wet on the inside.. Starts with a C... Ends with a T... And has U & N in-between? A coconut!"

"What do you call a pro-gamer? An ath1337"

"I talk a lot of shit for someone who still uses their fingers to count."