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Joke of the Day

"i'm really good at practicing how to pronounce something on a fancy menu for 10 minutes, then cracking under pressure and saying ""that one."""

"So a rapist picks up a hitchhiking serial killer Killer: ""Turn down that dark road."" Rapist: ""I was planning on it..."" Edit - Thank you magnificent stranger for gold!"

"A chemistry lab is like a giant party; Some people like dropping acid, others prefer dropping the base."

"Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre"

"*runs into san francisco restaurant* THE KALE WASN'T LOCALLY SOURCED *sound of 100s of ubers smashing into each other outside restaurant*"

"What was the most popular TV show in Ancient Rome and Germany in early AD? Whose Rhine Is It Anyway?"

"two peanuts were walking down the street. one was a salted."

"Ever hear about the farmer who bought a tractor with no seat and no steering wheel? Apparently he lost his ass and had no place to go....."

"What do you call the deaf man with no limbs? Whatever you want."

"Looking up at his wife, he asked, ""Honey, Do I have trouble making up my own mind?"""