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Joke of the Day
"Where on LinkedIn do I add my current gang memberships"
Next Joke
"A rock flying through the hemisphere is called an Asteroid. A lump on your ass is called a Hemorrhoid...... If you think of it,Shouldn't it be the other way around?"
"After two divorces, I think I've found the key to a successful marriage. Don't marry a c*nt."
"Are you a parking ticket? Because you got fine written all over you My girlfriend told me this one today, I was impressed"
"What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette? A naked blonde doing cartwheels."
"A customer was buying condoms at work today. I asked if he'd like a bag. ""No, she's not that ugly."""
"I had a dream where I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. Where the hell is my pillow?"
"A thug holds a gun to a dictionarys head and asks "" final words?"" the dictionary says ""zyzzyva."""
"So the Zika virus causes tiny brains huh? Something something something Congress something something Donald Trump."
"Someone invented a yoga mat that rolls itself. If that person reads this tweet, I have a fitted sheet I'd like for you to look at."